Controlling Parents and How to Deal with Them

Written by Henry Young. Posted in Parenting, Personal

The family life is a very important aspect of our life, but it can come with numerous challenges, especially when it comes to parenting methods. Controlling parents are usually difficult to deal with, and when you are already grown up, living in your own house with your own family, they are even more difficult. In the past, they might have put a lot of pressure on you regarding school and other educational activities, and maybe not only, they might have violated your privacy, obliged you to obey their rules, restrictions and decisions, without ever questioning them. According to numerous articles on family relationships, such parenting methods create distance between family members and often lead to toxic family relationships.

Moreover, now that you have your own family, they may try employing the same parenting style when interacting with your own children, imposing their regulations and controlling methods. Having controlling parents when you are a teenager or in your 20s is an enough heavy burden to carry, but having to put up with them in your 30s or 40s is even a heavier and difficult burden. You do not have the time and energy to try convincing them that they are wrong with their understanding of the family life and you don’t have the patience to accept their controlling ideas.

Bad parenting, such as the authoritarian and controlling parenting style, put a lot of pressure on the child, demanding too much, controlling, intruding, while they offer little to nothing: no warmth, no affection. These parenting styles lead to children with social struggle such as not being able to make friends, or not being able to speak their mind or defend themselves, or even children who grow up and become the opposite – they act out and do not accept someone imposing their authority anymore on them. Furthermore, these toxic family relationships also create a general anxiety in the familial environment. Good parenting is associated with a balanced parenting style, that implies affection, warmth, protection and care, but not over doing these, either.

There have been conducted researches in order to learn the effects of a controlling parenting style; some of them pointed out that children who had over controlling parents feel they are not competent or they feel insecure and are not able to make their own decisions, manage the many situations encountered in life and its stressors.

Parents should be made highly attentive to the damaging impact that a potential negative parental style of upbringing their children will certainly show its effects later in adulthood. Thus, it is very important to read articles on family relationships and raise your children in a proper way, one that fits your personality and fit your child, as well. Furthermore, they should always keep in mind that everything that children receive when they are young, will not only reflect directly of their person but will also affect the people they interact with.

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