The permissive parenting style is a parenting style characterized by an extremely relaxed parental attitude towards the behavior of their children. Parents who usually approach this parenting style are nurturing, warm and full of affection. However, there is a downside to this approach: parents become excessively accepting, without depending on their children’s behavior, if it is good or bad, they still receive the same treatment.
Furthermore, parents who choose the permissive parenting style consider that their children are capable of deciding for themselves with not so much parental guidance. These parents do not impose any rules, restrictions, nor do they have any demands from their children’s part. They actually avoid as much as they can any type of arguments with their children.
As Diana Baumrind’s study on parenting concluded, the permissive parenting is too soft. The parents make sure they respond to most or even all of their children’s requests, while they do not ensure an appropriate level of demandingness. This type of parenting often leads to bringing up spoiled children, who actually end up manipulating and controlling his / her parents.
The effects of the permissive parenting style
Children who are parented in a permissive manner:
- lack self-discipline
- are often demanding and self-centered
- tend to battle with authority
- have a tendency to be aggressive
- drink when they are still very young, due to the absence of rules
The reasons why some parents choose this approach are multiple and vary from parent to parent. Some parents were themselves brought up by authoritarian parents who were excessively controlling and thus they choose to approach the opposite parenting style when raising their children. Other parents are just this way; they do not actually want to become their children’s enemy, so they prefer the permissive parenting style. They consider that a set of restrictions and rules or other forms of discipline will only upset their children and do no good, so they let them do what they want. They want to be more of a friend than parent to their children, considering that all the rules they make and form of discipline they may apply will only cause damage to their relationship with their children and will only alienate them.
As a conclusion, the permissive parenting style has two sides: an inspiring side, that of being affectionate and warm, and a negative side represented by the lack of restrictions and rules. Children should be thought from an early age about the meaning of rules and structure, because their transition to adulthood and to actually each stage of life will become easier this way. If you want to learn more about the right parenting style, visit http://www.jaimesmayhew.com. On that website, you will also find some essential marriage and family advice.